How do I love thee, Siri? Let me count the ways.

I love how you remind me to pick up dog food when I’m near the store.
Reminders is the app of apps. I am a habitual (some might say obsessive) list maker. This feature is literally changing my life. Sorry, Evernote.

I love how you nimbly instruct me to combine voice AND gesture in my commands.
This is on the job training we’re all going to need, people! Have you SEEN Microsoft’s Holodesk and Future Productivity concept videos?! It’s insane how attuned to the interface you’d have to be to control it quickly. Microsoft and Apple are training a veritable army of midgets, ahem, children, on the new basics of digital interaction.

I love how you set me straight when I tease you mercilessly with inane questions like “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?”
Siri’s growing and ever-changing database of witty retorts is just plain cool.

I love how you — wait! What’s that you say? You’re having trouble connecting to the server?! But thine affection for thy lord is fickle! Shame, woman.

It seems that Apple has shortsightedly housed Siri, my beloved assistant, on those same servers that crashed with iOS5’s release. And a great assistant that doesn’t pick up the phone when you need her most isn’t a great assistant. I love Siri, but if I can’t rely on her, I won’t go to her first because I can just do it for myself faster. And I’m convinced Apple’s long term dominance is very much wrapped up in Siri. As Samsung’s hamfisted legal team pointed out, Steve had a bit of a Kubrick fetish. I’d hate to see Siri come to an end like the one that befell poor HAL if she doesn’t get her act together.

But, hark! What’s that I hear? Siri is restored! I am ashamed that I have forsaken my love so easily. Of course I’ll give her another shot.